It would be nice if...

I don't recommend remodeling your kitchen, writing your first book, building your business and your website, taking an online PR class, and some other stuff I've forgotten to mention like helping to organize a fundraiser, being a mom and working. It would be nice if I could just do one or two of these things at a time, but alas we create our own reality and this is the one I've patched together.

I guess it's just in my blood to multi-task. At the most I had seven part time jobs at one time. Even in high school I had three part time jobs. I'd leave school early to work the 3-6 shift at the church daycare,  and then dash out the door to take the 6-9 shift at  M.M. Cohn's, a Southern retail store akin to Dillard's or perhaps some lesser version of Macy's? Yes, this required an outfit change and I was usually speeding to get there on time. The third job was working weekends at a hippie store in the mall where I sold tie-dyed shirts, incense and beads while listening to the Grateful Dead.

I'm getting off subject here, as I was saying... I tend to thrive with threes. Three relatively big tasks is a good thing, keeps things spicy.  Three boyfriends always seemed to work well, too. If one made you mad, the other would cheer you up. As the saying goes, one man can't possibly make you happy- but, how about three? I say it's the magic number!

I'm getting off track AGAIN, see that's what happens when you multi-task. You get off track because instead of writing your book, you start looking at kitchens and when you are supposed to be looking at designing your kitchen you are playing dress up with your daughter walking around the house in your prom dress from about a million yrs ago (at least it still fits!) and trying not to fall down the stairs in high heels that you haven't worn since you moved to Vermont ten years ago.

It would be nice if I could just write my book.
And you know what?
I think I better go do that.
Xo Desha

What My Dad Taught Me About Money

I believe we create our own happiness, so whether you are rich or poor, life happens. We have to deal with tragedies that are beyond our control and experience the feeling of love regardless of how much money we have. But to say money doesn't matter would be a lie. It does matter. I see money as a form of energy and the owner gets to use it how they choose. You may hoard it and become greedy with it or you may give it freely.  Your relationship to it can offer you freedom or control your life completely.

My own story around money is complicated and I won't go into it here, but I'm sure, like you, my world views are effected by early relationship to money, or lack of it :)

I am not one who believes money is evil or bad. I am not one who believes I need to obtain buckets and buckets of it to feel safe, happy and secure. There are times in my life when I didn't have a cent, and I survived. What I do feel is that money is a tool that can offer me and my family options. I seek to obtain it in a way that matches my values. I seek to use it in way that enhances joy for those around me and for myself. I feel good about giving it when I can, and in fact, I make it a priority to do so.

I will be the first to admit that I enjoy life's little luxuries. I enjoy a pedicure every once in awhile, a trip to another country, taking my friend out for a meal, buying new curtains. And I'm clear that I don't like the feeling of not having "enough" although I try not to let fear of lack dictate my life or choices. It's a tricky balance, that one.

I am clear that I won't live my life just to accumulate it, nor will I sacrifice my freedom and lifestyle to obtain it. What's the point of that?

Growing up with less has allowed me to be thrifty, to create wonderful experiences and spaces on a budget. It's made me more creative in many ways.  It instilled in me a certain respect for it that I might not have if I was born with loads of it.  I can stretch a dollar quite far and certainly grateful for what I have. Even if I complain that I don't have enough, the reality is that I'm blessed. As Joe Peacock said, money doesn't equal happiness, but it sure don't hurt.
xo Desha Peacock

This is my second post as part of The Declaration of You's BlogLovin' Tour, which I'm so excited to participate in! The Declaration of You helps uncover your own definitions/ideas/values/perspectives around themes such as intention, self-care, success, money and more. Read my first post on SUCCESS here. 

The Sweet Spot is Self-Defined Success

This post is part of The Declaration of You's BlogLovin' Tour, which I'm so excited to participate in alongside over 200 other creative bloggers! Learn more here. The Declaration of You helps uncover your own definitions/ideas/values/perspectives around themes such as intention, self-care, success, money and more. I'll be guest posting on SUCCESS and MONEY, two of my favorite subjects. Let's get started!

If someone were to ask if you were a SUCCESS, how would you answer? What would being a SUCCESS look like to you? This is such a deeply personal question, answering it is sort of like spilling your heart and soul out for the world to not only see, but also judge. And while no one has ever asked me this question straight out, I feel like every time someone asks me what "I do" there is an opportunity to be judged. And really, this is just part of human nature, isn't it? We each have our own thoughts about what makes someone successful and it's nearly impossible not to judge around those standards.

The problem is that each person's definition is so unique, so deeply personal that it's really quite silly to try and gauge another's success based on our own personal definition.  And even more damaging is basing our own self worth on someone else's definition of success. 

I'm sure my friends and family want me to be happy and successful, but their view of happy and successful might be quite different from mine. Here are my wild guesses about how others might gauge my success:

My mother might feel I'm a success if I have a stable income, stay married, be a good mom, go to church and be a good Christian.

My husband might feel I'm a success if I could keep a tidy and organized house, get my daughter to eat more vegetables, exercise, maintain a steady career. Be still.

Some friends might feel I'm a success if I become famous, have my own show, write a best seller, and become filthy rich.

Still others might feel I'm a grand success if I am able to make a small imprint on the earth through recycling, composting, gardening and living a simple life.

I could try and live my life so that others might see me as a success, but there's a few problems:

1. I'm only guessing about how others might see me as a success, I could be completely wrong about these assumptions.

2. Even if I knew for sure how others would perceive me as successful, there's so many versions that I couldn't possibly make every one happy.

3. Does it even matter? Who cares if others see me as a success? Do they sit around and think about my success? I seriously doubt it. They might judge for a few minutes and then it's on to "what should I make for dinner" or "what am I going to wear to work tomorrow."  And those that truly love me will accept me for my success and failures. 

What's the moral of this story?

If it's a fact that I can't please everyone (or maybe not even one person!), I might as well try and live by my own PERSONAL DECLARATION of SUCCESS which includes...

- walking my daughter to and from school most days 

- creating an environment that makes me and my family feel abundant, joyful, cozy, comfortable and surrounded by beauty

- wearing clothes that creatively express who I am

- feeling financially free to live the way I choose

- exposing my daughter and myself to other cultures in a meaningful and adventurous way

- living my higher purpose, which for me means doing creative, meaningful work that uplifts and fulfills me

How about you? Do you live by your own declaration of success?  Leave your comment below and join me on the Declaration of You Facebook Party to discuss this notion of SUCCESS and much more!

The Perfect New England Getaway...

Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Prescott Park, Portsmouth 

I love discovering little nooks like these.

Gardens near Prescott Park

Getting ready to see Annie at the outdoor theater, Prescott Park

If you are looking for a New England get away, I suggest Portsmouth. We went there a couple of years ago and I wrote this mini city guide with some pics of the beaches and recommendations for shops and restaurants. This time around we fell in love with a Caribbean seafood place called the Blue Mermaid, with seafood paella and plantain encrusted cod. Try the carrot coconut rum drink, too. Yum!

If you have kids you really should plan your visit around the shows at Prescott Park, an outdoor theater right next to the ocean. There's a lovely garden perfect for a little picnic and glass of wine.

Portsmouth is a great place to spend a couple of days at the beach, hit a show at the park, do a little shopping downtown and have a sweet little vaca.

Sweet Spot Style Summer Office is Open

Hello dear ones, July is dedicated to writing, playing, decorating and seeing private clients. I'm excited to reopen my summer "cabin" office! I had the joy of counseling a client today in the space and it reminds me how much I love helping people get clear about their hopes and dreams. If you are interested in doing a little one- on- one work around manifesting your dream career, decorating with meaning, or designing your own personal Sweet Spot Life, give me a shout. We'll talk over hibiscus tea and lemon cookies. xo Desha