Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Sweet Spot is Self-Defined Success

This post is part of The Declaration of You's BlogLovin' Tour, which I'm so excited to participate in alongside over 200 other creative bloggers! Learn more here. The Declaration of You helps uncover your own definitions/ideas/values/perspectives around themes such as intention, self-care, success, money and more. I'll be guest posting on SUCCESS and MONEY, two of my favorite subjects. Let's get started!

If someone were to ask if you were a SUCCESS, how would you answer? What would being a SUCCESS look like to you? This is such a deeply personal question, answering it is sort of like spilling your heart and soul out for the world to not only see, but also judge. And while no one has ever asked me this question straight out, I feel like every time someone asks me what "I do" there is an opportunity to be judged. And really, this is just part of human nature, isn't it? We each have our own thoughts about what makes someone successful and it's nearly impossible not to judge around those standards.

The problem is that each person's definition is so unique, so deeply personal that it's really quite silly to try and gauge another's success based on our own personal definition.  And even more damaging is basing our own self worth on someone else's definition of success. 

I'm sure my friends and family want me to be happy and successful, but their view of happy and successful might be quite different from mine. Here are my wild guesses about how others might gauge my success:

My mother might feel I'm a success if I have a stable income, stay married, be a good mom, go to church and be a good Christian.

My husband might feel I'm a success if I could keep a tidy and organized house, get my daughter to eat more vegetables, exercise, maintain a steady career. Be still.

Some friends might feel I'm a success if I become famous, have my own show, write a best seller, and become filthy rich.

Still others might feel I'm a grand success if I am able to make a small imprint on the earth through recycling, composting, gardening and living a simple life.

I could try and live my life so that others might see me as a success, but there's a few problems:
1. I'm only guessing about how others might see me as a success, I could be completely wrong about these assumptions.
2. Even if I knew for sure how others would perceive me as successful, there's so many versions that I couldn't possibly make every one happy.
3. Does it even matter? Who cares if others see me as a success? Do they sit around and think about my success? I seriously doubt it. They might judge for a few minutes and then it's on to "what should I make for dinner" or "what am I going to wear to work tomorrow."  And those that truly love me will accept me for my success and failures. 

What's the moral of this story?

If it's a fact that I can't please everyone (or maybe not even one person!), I might as well try and live by my own PERSONAL DECLARATION of SUCCESS which includes...

- walking my daughter to and from school most days 

- creating an environment that makes me and my family feel abundant, joyful, cozy, comfortable and surrounded by beauty

- wearing clothes that creatively express who I am

- feeling financially free to live the way I choose

- exposing my daughter and myself to other cultures in a meaningful and adventurous way

- living my higher purpose, which for me means doing creative, meaningful work that uplifts and fulfills me

How about you? Do you live by your own declaration of success?  Leave your comment below and join me on the Declaration of You Facebook Party to discuss this notion of SUCCESS and much more!


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