Friday, September 14, 2012

Dealing with "D"

Today I'd like to talk about the "D" word- big, ugly DISAPPOINTMENT. It's an enemy of HOPE, my darling friend. "D" sucks the life out of HOPE and tells her that she's wasting her time b/c "D" won last time, or the last few times.

What the hell am I talking about? 

Ok, let me just tell you. I have a girl crush on Marie Forleo and she had a contest to win a spot to her awesome event: RICH, HAPPY and HOT, where 300 savvy and creative women entrepreneurs get together to be inspired, network and party. It's right up my alley, expect for the $2000 fee. But when I found out about her contest to win a spot for free, I was determined to win. I made this video and prayed over it.  I imagined I'd win. I said I'd win. And then... I didn't win. Dis- a-ppoint-ment moves in. Hope despairs. I know,  it's just a contest, but it's not just the contest- it's that when you go for your dreams, you work hard and you HOPE it's all worth it. When those little things you pray for don't come, worry and doubt trickle in and you start to wonder... should I  keep going??

The fact is that giving up is not an option. So, how do you deal with "D" and make her shut the f. up, so you can get back on track? That's what I'm working on today.

Step 1: Go ahead and be disappointed and sad for a short spell, no more than one day though. I gave it half a day today. I was going to starve myself and lay on the couch all day long, but then I got really hungry and about 9am I made cheese toast and bacon with Tea. Starting to feel better...

Step 2: Read something funny. I read Woodbird today about how my friend's little girl screamed at her in the parking lot and called her DISGUSTING- and although it sounds awful, it made me laugh out loud b/c her daughter is an angel, but shit happens and we all get upset sometimes, don't we?

Step 3: Be grateful. It's hard to be grateful when you are disappointed. It's also really hard to be disappointed, sad, or pissed-off when you immerse yourself in gratitude. As soon as you start to say, "thank you for my health, my ability to walk, see, taste, smell... thank  you for my loving family, my home, my passion..." You see? You can't help but start to feel better.

Step 4: Be happy for those who won. What??? Seriously? Yes. I watched all the videos of the winners. I send them blessings. It's hard to imagine, but maybe they needed to win more than me :)

Step 5: Keep up the good work. Dive back in and remember this: for every person that has succeeded, they could each write a long list of why their dream was impossible- but the difference is they didn't linger there and neither will I.

Do you have a story of disappointment and how you overcame it? Do tell.


  1. Hi Desha, thanks for linking me to this from Marie's site. I agree that ultimately, stewing in the D isn't gonna benefit anyone - least of all myself. I therefore have no intention of doing that.

    However I think that it also wouldn't benefit me to repress how I really feel about a thing because I'm too scared of upsetting the apple cart with others. So, everything in balance: I've had my little rant about it, and that's that. This way, I've both honoured my true feelings on the matter whilst - hopefully - not becoming too much of a misery guts in the process!

    I imagine there's quite a few people secretly sorta agreeing with my comment, but not wanting to put it out there... I've never been able to complain, complain and complain in my head about a thing and then not just come out and say it. Whether that's a virtue or burden remains to be seen. :D

    PS - I thought your vid rocked too.

    1. Thanks Siobhan, I don't know how they were able to pick just 10 from that huge stack of vid's- must have been hard- I did read one comment that made me feel better- one of the women who submitted last time said "I cried when I didn't get chosen" but this year, she was! I know Marie said no more RHH, but I bet she'll have other cool events and hopefully I'll meet ya there next time~

  2. Desha,

    We are leaving our Victorian house in 8 days. It was our dream house. The past few weeks have been a journey. We had our hopes pinned on finding stability here, in the midst of a certain kind of beauty and peace, but discovered that the universe really wanted us to keep moving. There have been many gifts along the way, some of them entirely impossible to predict, much less conceptualize in advance. We'll see what's next. I pray it will be good. I know I'll be learning. oxo Cathryn

  3. Hi Cathryn, yes I agree- somtimes the universe has to move us along in different directions and we don't quite understand for awhile. I have certainly experienced that in my life. In the end, I really can't complain, I know I'm blessed.

    Hope to see your new place soon, we'll have to toast once you're all settled. Invite Stasia :)

  4. Great tips on getting over the big D. I loved your video. We do gain something from every experiencein life even if we can't easily see it at the time.

    Love your blog! Happy to discover you through byw. Have a great weekend.


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